Cole's space

Well, I just hung up the phone with Shelley, the daughter of whom was
one of my best friends for 25 years, sharing the news that Clarence (CB
to most anyone who was his friend) died of an overdose in a hotel room
in Laos.

CB is the reason I am living this great life here in Thailand, because
after I had sold all my assets in September 2002, he invited me to come
stay here for a few months before moving on to China where I was hoping
to land a good job back in computer/network engineering. I fell in love
with the Thai culture, and started learning the meaning of a life
outside America.

We had been through many MANY difficult life experiences together, some
of which nearly killed both he and I in the mid '80s, but we survived
("That which does not kill me makes me stronger") to enjoy many great
times together throughout our lives. I guess it culminated to when we
were laying around his pool down in Pattaya watching the sun set while
sipping on beer, laughing and slapping ourselves on the back at the
tough times we lived through to finally be in paradise watching such
beautiful sunsets.

My heart is sad and heavy now, and my spirit has taken on a moment of
sorrow for the way this best friend chose to let his life end. He is
survived by his mother, a daughter Shelley, and son Anthony, who still
live in the Houston metropolitan area of Texas. He will be sorely missed
by the many who held him deeply in our hearts.

May you finally find the love you so painfully sought, CB. May you now
be walking amongst the Path of Light for which you so richly deserve. I
love you. I miss you.

Happy New Year everyone!!

My cousin Cindy in Texas (have another in Arizona) sent this most perfect New Year's resolution to us and it is worded so beautifully that it needed to be passed on here.

May each of you find this wonderful new year full of success and happiness, and may it fill your hearts to overflowing with love.

Namaste!

Light, Life, & Love.

Cole

"A true heart makes wishes come true."

                                   Chinese Proverb

From: Cindy A. Carey
Sent: Friday, January 02, 2009 06:42
To: Cindy A. Carey
Subject: Happy New Year!

Hello!

Every single morning of the year we awaken to a brand new day filled with unlimited possibilities.  We can be who we have been with all of our worries, baggage and regrets intact or we can decide to enter the day focused on what is good and right in our lives. Nowhere in the year is this choice more conscious than on New Year's Day.  It really is a day like any other but we have all agreed to make believe it is special and because we have all agreed, it is.  And so we make grandiose plans for ourselves for the year to come and hope some of them come to pass.

 But what if, this year we do it differently?  What if this year, instead of mapping out our personal blueprint for the next twelve months, we forget about ourselves?  What if this year, ALL, 100% of our wishes are for the good of others.  What if we wish for the people we love instead of ourselves?  What if we send out wishes for what they want?  What if we wish that they lose dangerous weight or quit a crippling habit or find employment, find God, find happiness, lighten up, learn to forgive, get to travel, regain their health, find patience, eat better, get out of a relationship, get into a relationship, learn to laugh again, appreciate what they already have.  What if this New Year wasn't about us at all but all about them?  What if we just kept on working on our stuff like we have been (and keeping our fingers crossed that we are making progress) and use all of our New Year's wishes for others?

 It's not as big a sacrifice as you would imagine.  There would be no resolutions to keep, no lists of what you will do differently, no reluctant meals or exercises but if you would look around in a little while, you would realize that others really are being affected by your wishes for them, the world will suddenly seem to be getting a little brighter, the people that you wish good for will suddenly feel closer to you, you will suddenly start walking a little lighter.  The difference that you wanted to make in the world will have started.

With these thoughts in mind, I wish you a wonderful New Year filled with happiness and peace of mind and I wish that everyone you love is benefited by your New Year's resolutions.

Love and Blessings, Cindy Carey

It’s so important that I add this piece...

I’ve felt in times that I was so much “wiser”, so more “intuitive” than other people, like I was “better” or “more in-tune” than most, but in the end it’s all a farce.  It can be summed up in this favorite quote:

“If you have learned to walk
A little more sure-footedly than I,
Be patient with my stumbling then
And know that only as I do my best and try
May I attain the goal
For which we both are striving.

If through experience, your soul
Has gained heights which I
As yet in dim-lit vision see,
Hold out your hand and point the way,
Lest from its straightness I should stray,
And walk a mile with me.”
--
Cole

“We make choices in life, and then we must live with
    those choices. In the end, we ARE those choices.”

Well, it seems that as life moves forward we lose friends that we thought would be with us for our whole lives, but in time we learn that they were only meant to be with us for a short time. How should we feel over losing these dearest of people? What would be the next step when we find out they’re no longer traveling with us along this great journey? This is a most difficult question to answer because we always hope that these significant people will be with us, but as it turns out they have their own paths to follow.

For me personally, I feel a hole in a part of my spirit that can’t seem to be filled. These special people made such a difference in my life, and to think they will never be there again is almost too much to bear. However, when I think that they are adventuring their own special paths I feel somewhat relieved that my “selfishness” is a bit overbearing, and then I have a feeling of relief because these people have helped me to be where I am, and that is an incredible place for me. “Some people come into our lives for a short time, while others are there for a lifetime.”

For those of you who are in my life for a “lifetime”, thanks is not NEAR enough for all that you’ve given me and shared with me through our lives. For those of you who’ve been with me for a short time, you may not know what you’ve done for another. Thank you!  Hopefully I’ll be able to pass along what you’ve passed to me. :-)

For everyone who has called me “Friend”, thank you from my heart!  I hope we can share friendships once again in this life.

Light, Life & Love!

Namaste!
--
Cole

“It is in changing that we find purpose.” Heraclites

So, what is the worth of a human life?  What is the worth of ANY life?  How do we measure this worth?  By accomplishments?  By wealth?  By the Loves we’ve had?  By our friends? By those who “love” us?  How about by our credit achieved? OH! I know! The career we’ve accomplished!

Hmmm!  Sounds like all material things, huh?

There are so many things we can “rate” our worth by, but what really counts is what we feel inside ourselves. How do you feel about the person you are?  So many people try to “fit in” with society so they will be loved or accepted, and this can be at the expense of our own self-esteem, our own self-worth.  Why is it so important that we be accepted? Why is it more important than our own self-love?  Love and Happiness are always wished upon us from everyone we know, but do they REALLY wish that upon us, or is it something they simply express because it is something we’ve learned to tell others because we wish it for ourselves?

If we take a few minutes each day to reflect upon our own lives and what we’ve truly accomplished in it, I believe that each and every one of us will be overwhelmed with joy at the obstacles, the JOYS we’ve each experienced over and over throughout our lives. Personally, as of today, I’ve had so many incredible moments that I cannot count them all, nor would I want to spend that much time trying.  Instead, I can rejoice at the beauty heaped upon me each morning when I wake up to find that I’m breathing another day of life into my body. Yes, I am truly blessed in this gift called “Life”.

As most of you know, I’ve had TONS of adversity throughout my life, and there were times I was ready to end it all, just too much “pain” to endure.  I’ve been to the top of the world, and down to the bottom of Hell, and yet today I find so much beauty in life that it sometimes makes me cry for minutes on end.  I’ve built an “American Life” that so many would dream to have, and yet I gave it all up to experience what many people in the world experience.  I left the states with 4 suitcases from a home loaded with 30 years of stuff, all accumulated since I was in high school, and yet I now know more peace and happiness than I would have EVER thought possible just 5 years ago.

I write this update today because it is so important that I tell each of you, my dear friends, how beautiful life is with each of you in it.  While many of you are friends I’ve known for a short time, many others are friends I’ve bonded with since I was a kid.  Some of you might say I am still a kid, but what the hey!?  Better to be a kid than some old crotchety crank that is bitter at the “ills” they’ve experienced, huh?  

Each day is another opportunity for YOU to make a difference in this world. Go out and spread all the Love you can, and know that each smile you give to another...each pat on the back will help all of us to live up to the mnemonic “Human”. Let’s make this world a place that all can be happy in. Let’s make this place something we can leave to a 1000 years of families.  Something I heard while watching Drew Barrymore (one of my most favorite actresses) last week... “Fun is something we bring with us.”  Yes! Fun, happiness, love is a matter of perception! You can wake up each day feeling love and happiness, no matter what pain (physical or emotional) you’re experiencing. It’s all up to you.

As I close this “update” I want to say that I’ve been experiencing for such a long time now so much peace and happiness, both through the AWESOME friends I have as well as the great life I’m experiencing here in Thailand, and I can’t thank all of you who call me friend enough for your love.  Clarity has never been this sharp before, and I know it can only get sharper, at least with the perspective I carry on life. 

I love you all, and hope that each and every one of you can share the love of life that I have come to know.  If you ever have any doubts about YOUR life, just talk to a friend, and see how awesome it is to have a FRIEND that is next to you.

-- Cole
    ”Life is a journey. Enjoy the trip.”

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